


Dishonor

by Llama1412



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Contemplations of Suicide, Episode Related, Episode: s02e06 Beauty and the Beast, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-12
Updated: 2011-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:29:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23484595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llama1412/pseuds/Llama1412
Summary: When a prince has been dishonored and disinherited, what is he supposed to live for?
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Kudos: 24





	Dishonor

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on livejournal in 2010-2011. Posted unedited.

He'd been disinherited. Honest to god disinherited. He wasn't a prince anymore, just son to a king and not good enough to rule, it would seem.

What was he supposed to do? A prince without his title was nothing. He was dishonored, unfit to even be a knight, much less lead them. And what other skills did he have? He didn't know how to plow a field or make wares. What was he supposed to do with his time? Did his father expect him to just live in the castle, a rejected son drifting without a purpose?

His father, gods he could hardly bear to think about him. He had always tried to be the perfect son, the proper heir. Where had he failed? Was his father really so disappointed that he should be dropped as soon as the best candidate for replacement came along?

Gaius said his father loved him, but how could he when he was sentencing his own son to death? Surely his father had to realize that that was Arthur's only choice. It was dishonorable to kill himself, but he didn't have any honor left, did he? He wasn't Arthur Pendragon anymore and any honor that came with that bloodline was no longer his to claim.

Perhaps this was what his father wanted, a way to get rid of the son that had killed his beloved wife. Arthur's death wouldn't draw any attention, any fuss now. It would simply be what was coming to him. No one would mourn.

Only that wasn't true. He knew he could trust that one man in particular cared about him without the trappings of a prince. To Merlin, titles had never mattered and it was Arthur, not the Pendragon Prince, that he counted friend, despite everything. Merlin would mourn him.

Only he wouldn't know, would he? It was too dangerous in Camelot right now for Merlin and if Catrina became the heir to the throne, it may very well never be safe for Merlin. He would be forced to forever stay away from his friends here.

Arthur wouldn't even be able to say goodbye. No, that wasn't acceptable. Arthur may not be worth anything anymore, but Merlin would still treat him as something valuable, and he needed that, one last time. He needed to see Merlin. If he had to live useless and in shame before that could happen, then he would, but he wouldn't kill himself until he'd said goodbye. He owed Merlin that much.

He would live and maybe he would be able to help Gaius make it safe for Merlin again, and then he'd finally please his father and deal with his dishonor properly. He'd just have to take it day by day until it was time.


End file.
